....................

I ask myself why I react so personally to a friend hurting themselves. I get angry, scared, and deeply sad all at once. Extreme bubblng of feelings come spraying to my surface. I first feel shock and paralysis then anxiety, but then it turns into a deep silent, stay away from me, hurt.

Apparently, you know nothing of Love..if you don't understand why someone could take something to be as if it had been done to them....I feel deeply wounded when I see just how careless one can be...the first time I realize how reckless they are.. that they are willing to risk their life in the most selfish and destructive of ways. It brings out the fear in me..that they could scare me so...How Dare they! How dare you do this to yourself. And, now I am left feeling, feeling so hurt and betrayed...

I know, do I really have a right to feel this..no..but i take it as though someone directly almost purposely did this to hurt me...

..No...no i know what this is...I care too much for them, my heart is so open to loving them...that it is a direct blow when something bad happens to them, I am angry that they can scare me so...
Scare me to fear for their life, for possibly losing them.